Tuesday, February 15, 2011
WE ARE CURRENTLY OFF THE AIR
We are currently off the air until we can get more sponsors to pay for our time slot. We are hoping to be back on the air in the very near future. Watch this blog and our emails for further information. Thank you for your support. Terry
Tuesday, January 25, 2011
Sorry Not Dead Yet
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Sorry, Not Dead Yet!
A Tapestry Of Inspiration And Survival Against The Odds
In 2001 Sven found out in the most unceremonious way that he was HIV+. Through the course of several years he had to not only deal with this death sentence but battle his drug addiction as well. Sven kept a journal during this time, writing about his trip to hell and back in a very frank and honest way. About The Author :- Sven was born and raised in Holland, Europe. After coming out as being gay to his family, Sven moved to Los Angeles in 1992 to commence his pursuit of happiness. Just when he thought his life was on track and things were good, he was handed a piece of paper that read “Test Results: Positive.” The date was July 5, 2001: Sven's pursuit veered off track! His career had included domestic television syndication for a children’s show, being a personal assistant for a few newsworthy celebrities and a venture in the corporate environment. None of these experiences prepared him for the road ahead.
Coming to terms with HIV and battling a Crystal Meth addiction at the same time, he started to write to preserve his sanity and to escape the demons inside of his head. It became the only way he knew how to process and manage the events that were happening in his life. A decade has passed since he tested HIV+. Since then, Sven has written over 300 pages and watched every aspect of his life change. Today, Sven is a happy, healthy and stronger person because of what happened. He shares his experiences and works as a consultant in HIV and substance abuse prevention. In 2005 the City of Los Angeles presented him with a Certificate of Commendation for all of his efforts. All of this is because he tested positive, re-engaged in living, and allowed his life to become all of that: a complete Positive. While his life has changed completely, the one thing that remains the same is his desire to make a difference and to be remembered for that effect. For in the end, isn’t that really what we all want—just to be remembered?
A Tapestry Of Inspiration And Survival Against The Odds
In 2001 Sven found out in the most unceremonious way that he was HIV+. Through the course of several years he had to not only deal with this death sentence but battle his drug addiction as well. Sven kept a journal during this time, writing about his trip to hell and back in a very frank and honest way. About The Author :- Sven was born and raised in Holland, Europe. After coming out as being gay to his family, Sven moved to Los Angeles in 1992 to commence his pursuit of happiness. Just when he thought his life was on track and things were good, he was handed a piece of paper that read “Test Results: Positive.” The date was July 5, 2001: Sven's pursuit veered off track! His career had included domestic television syndication for a children’s show, being a personal assistant for a few newsworthy celebrities and a venture in the corporate environment. None of these experiences prepared him for the road ahead.
Coming to terms with HIV and battling a Crystal Meth addiction at the same time, he started to write to preserve his sanity and to escape the demons inside of his head. It became the only way he knew how to process and manage the events that were happening in his life. A decade has passed since he tested HIV+. Since then, Sven has written over 300 pages and watched every aspect of his life change. Today, Sven is a happy, healthy and stronger person because of what happened. He shares his experiences and works as a consultant in HIV and substance abuse prevention. In 2005 the City of Los Angeles presented him with a Certificate of Commendation for all of his efforts. All of this is because he tested positive, re-engaged in living, and allowed his life to become all of that: a complete Positive. While his life has changed completely, the one thing that remains the same is his desire to make a difference and to be remembered for that effect. For in the end, isn’t that really what we all want—just to be remembered?
My Muscles, My Disease: Portrait of a Gay Drug Addict
During my years of crystal meth addiction I went by the name of Marcus, at least to dealers and tricks and fellow addicts. It helped me determine who was calling my cell phone – those calling for Mark or Marcus usually had very different agendas – and Marcus even became an alternate persona as my drug addiction progressed.
When partying as Marcus, I felt confident and aloof. I took awful chances. I never met a strobe light I didn’t like or a box on a dance floor I wouldn’t jump on. A steroid-crazed gym regimen and the dehydration of drug abuse transformed my body into the low fat, pumped up gay ideal.
Photographs of that body, in full, preening strut, are the contents of the MARCUS folder. The pictures were my calling card for online sex-and-drug pursuits. They suggest nudity but are cropped modestly – although God knows that much more damning images of me surely exist in the dark corners of cyberspace.
In one of the few pictures showing my face, I stand under a running shower – a pitiful Playgirl pose, spray nozzle in hand – with a blank face and shipwrecked eyes. The only emotion on display, just around the edges, is a dull fear.
My life was precisely as pictured. It wouldn’t be long before my drug use trumped my gym schedule, and my status in online chat rooms devolved from intriguing hottie to that crazy mess that doesn’t look like his pictures.
Since then, my recovery from drug addiction has helped me understand that the Gay Strut is key to my disease. It is a sly porthole back to raging insanity.
Explaining all this feels idiotic. What vanity I possess, asking you to gaze upon my former, overwrought beauty as I complain about the consequences. It feels like an invitation to tell me how much healthier I look now, or that recovery is “an inside job.” I know this. I’m just sharing the curious road that got me here.
My recovery depends on healing my mind, body and spirit. At the moment I’m two out of three.
My spirit is happy today. My smiles are joyful and plentiful. My mind is clear, although I don’t kid myself, there are remnants of a brain pickled in methamphetamine for many years. But healing is underway, and my mind and spirit are enjoying the process.
Monday, January 24, 2011
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